I missed putting up a review on Friday. I’m sorry, and I’ve decided that you, the loyal reader, deserve a better excuse than “my personal life was crazy” or “I was crushed by the amount of work I had to do this week.” Frankly, you can get those kind of excuses anywhere, and we all know they’re lies, just excuses for being too lazy to put in the kind of quality work an unpaid “labor of love” deserves. So from now on, if I miss a Tuesday or Friday review, you’ll get a better excuse. Like this one:
The review was late this week because I was nearly devoured by hyperintelligent cheetahs. Now, you might think their speed is their greatest asset, but that’s not true; their cerebral dampening nets they use to trap their prey are murder. If they only had the opposable thumbs to actually throw the things or use their gauss rifles, I would have been in real trouble.